“Shouting” into the abyss

I love warm weather.  I know some of you start counting the days until winter the first time we can all go without a jacket in the spring.  I know some of you start planning for next Christmas on December 26th.  I know this because just yesterday I saw a post on my social media feed that happily exclaimed that as of that day we are exactly six months from the holidays.  I like the warmer weather because my body can do so many more of the things I like to do without pain and struggle when it’s warm.  As a child care provider I love that with the warmer weather comes an opportunity to get the children outside.  I could go on for an entire post about all the things that I love about spring and summer, but as a person with a disability there is one thing that seems to come to the forefront along with warmer days.  It comes with prom season, graduation, and more people traveling over the summer months.  Some of you can already probably guess where I am going with this I bet.

     The warmer months, in my experience, are prime times for insprational stories making the rounds on the social media feeds and on tv.  Because all of my social media platforms have some degree of my passions for activism, civil rights, and equality I see lots of it. There was a great ted talk given by Stella Young in which she discussed specifically something that she called inspiration porn.  A term that many of us in the disability community now use freely to describe the stories in the media that show one view of disability usually for people who don’t have disabilities.  Stella’s definition is any story or image that objectifies disabled people for the benefit of non disabled people.  For example, any of the promposal stories where a student without a disability asks a friend with a disability to prom. And the media makes that story about how the non disabled friend is super  heroic for asking that’s inspiration porn.  Any picture taken and posted of a seemingly non disabled person helping a person with a disability do anything that was taken without the knowledge and permission of all the people involved.  Then suddenly that  image is shared widely for it’s heartwarming factor sometimes with  a different version of the story, that is inspiration porn.  Any story told about a couple’s life together after injury or illness that doesn’t include both people and one spouse is labled amazing for staying in a situation that isn’t termed ideal anymore.  That is also inspiration porn.  It’s important that we are all on the same page for the definition I am using here in my post.  So you can understand the story I am about to tell.   I have a huge problem with media spin.  When I see the stories done in this way I am compelled by my activist side to call it out.  I have written letters and numerous posts .  I’ve engaged with people I know and strangers to explain what inspiration porn is and why it can be harmful to society.  A few times it’s resulted in some small but important local changes.  Most often, not always, but enough, I get told I’m way too sensitive.  I have been told that I couldn’t possibly know what I was talking about. And then asked repeatedly if I am disabled (spoiler alert I never tell them because so not the point)  I’ve been yelled at  because these stories are needed in a depressing world.  Told that  disabled people are always happy and so they don’t mind (because after all look how happy they are about the prom  ect)   Chastised that I really know how to suck the sunshine out of a room. I am sensitive to it that’s very true.  Because in essence a lot  of the stories I see paint people with disabilities in a childlike manner and that makes our daily lives harder than than they need to be. But lately I’ve been met with  a hostility when pointing it out that is difficult to process.  I’d even once been told on a particular social media platform that I should go kill myself because I am such a downer and shouldn’t be around others.  If I was a teenager or someone who already felt that badly such a comment could have been enough to tip the scales.  The responses I get leave me with 2 questions Why are some people so entrenched in a belief that people with disabilities only purpose on the planet is to inspire  others like it’s our profession. (spoiler alert that’s not a job we get paid for or compensated in any other way so it’s not a “job’) that when asked to examine the beliefs  they become so violently angry they use name calling and threats?  2  How can we approach the subject with out incurring the wrath  of people who have so  much misinformation about the place disabled people occupy in society  that our rights to speak our own truths and tell our own stories scare or threaten  them? Please go and watch Stella Young’s ted talk.  She was an accomplished activist and speaker. And though we never met I miss her.   Stella’s ted talk